Benson: I hate when ...

I’m normally a very positive person. Even when I weighed 350 pounds, I usually could find the joy and happiness in life despite the overwhelming frustration with my size and my struggle with food. But there are times where you just have to vent.

I just hate the fact that … although everyone has problems in life, those who struggle with their weight “wear” the evidence of theirs. It’s obvious for the world to see.

I hate that you can’t tell how good a fruit really is until you bite it. It’s way too expensive to buy tasteless fruit.

I hate that bagels have a high water content and fluctuate slightly in size depending on the humidity. I spoke personally last year with Marvin Lender, who told me, “Kim, good bagels are like snowflakes, no two are alike.” It was comforting to share frustrations with the “history’s bagel king.”

I hate the fact that the health of all my family members rests on me. I enjoy “loving my family with food” as much as the next mom, but I also love feeling good about what we’re eating. It’s hard to do both. And that “hard” rests on me.

I hate fighting exercise. I want to want to jog. Sometimes I do, but often I don’t. It’s so much easier to be consistent … but I really hate that I’m not.

I hate bullying. I see it a lot in my boys’ school and I just hate it.

I hate when I miss a deadline. When I miss a friend’s birthday. When I read someone’s hurting e-mail and don’t get back to them for several days because I want to take more time writing the response. I hate when I let the boys stay up too late and everyone ends up snapping at each other. (Yes, it happens to us, too.)

I hate when I choose business over family or work over quiet time. When I choose to overindulge despite all I’ve learned. When I burn dinner just because I wasn’t paying attention. When I make wrong assumptions or disappoint someone deeply.

I hate the fact that this was such an easy blog to write. I hate that I don’t feel as bad as I thought I would writing it.

But despite everything I hate … I’m so incredibly blessed. I love my God. I adore my family … and those who work for me. I treasure you crazy, funny, determined, strong, amazing people on my site. I’m grateful for what I get to do for a living. And I’m so happy every day to be alive and healthy.

Regarding everything I hate … it is what it is. Let’s keep trying to change the things we can. Not complain about the things we can’t. And yes, mom, I promise you won’t hear me say “I hate” again for a long time.

Thanks for indulging me.

Kim Bensen, author of Finally Thin, was a lifetime yo-yo dieter who lost 200+ pounds and has kept it off for more than 10 years. She owns the Kim Bensen Weight Loss Center at One Greenwich Place at 889 Bridgeport Avenue in Shelton. For more weight loss tips and recipes, visit