Every so often when the flesh is weak and the need is great, I succumb to temptation and creep into the bedroom where no one can see me. Then, I close the door and rent a movie like \u201cIronman\u201d or \u201cIronman 2\u201d or possibly \u201cIronman 3,\u201d or maybe all three at the same time, which I watch on my iPad because we don\u2019t own a TV. I don\u2019t want to encourage this sort of compulsive behavior so I securely fasten the headphones to my ears and no one else can hear. Generally, I restrict myself to G-rated movies like \u201cLady and the Tramp\u201d \u2014 I\u2019m really looking forward to \u201cThe Lego Movie\u201d \u2014 but sometimes I go for the whole enchilada and watch a PG-13 like \u201cLes Mis\u00e9rables,\u201d which lasted so long the family was pounding on the door worried about me. I don\u2019t consider this a betrayal of my personal commitment to put the entertainment industry out of business. I would never get cable TV or deface my roof with a satellite dish. And I certainly wouldn\u2019t waste my time watching \u201cReal Housewives of the Bayou\u201d or a \u201cPay-per-view\u201d of Kim Kardashian\u2019s engagement party. Last week, I gave in to temptation again and watched a movie about the future, where one of the characters said technology is the answer to all our problems. Through technology, you can regulate your thermostat, predict stock market performance and trim your nose hairs. Because of technology, he said, we can have peace and prosperity and many other pleasures that previous generations never considered possible, such as free pornography and a new iPhone every nine months. Actually, technology is enslaving us. Just look at all those young people who are so addicted to their cell phones they sleep with them on their pillows. The latest craze is \u201cwearable technology,\u201d which includes computer eyeglasses, smart watches and gadgets that produce what the visionaries claim is a \u201cseamless interaction \u2014 an extension of yourself.\u201d They turn you into a cyborg, which is the 21st Century version of invasion of the body snatchers. A friend of mine often warns me about attempts to control us through technology. \u201cDon\u2019t take the chip,\u201d he says, referring to the belief that the New World Order will implant microchips in us to gain total domination and access to our medical records, not to mention our financial records and Great-Granny\u2019s secret recipe for spaghetti sauce. I always scoff at his theories because he\u2019s the kind of guy who believes the military has a place in the New Mexico desert where it hides flying saucers and aliens they use as guinea pigs to test new products for McDonald\u2019s. (The McRib was very popular.) Don\u2019t take the microchip, my friend insists, even if they offer you an interest-free loan and free installation. Don\u2019t take it in your hand, your head or your booty. However, when I read the New York Post every morning, I get the sneaky suspicion that a lot of people are already on the chip. The younger generation especially worries me because they\u2019re so obsessed with technology they\u2019d turn themselves into robots just to get free iTunes. Kids today can\u2019t sit in the dentist\u2019s chair without text-messaging, and social critic Louis C.K. recently caused a ruckus when he said he didn\u2019t want his daughters using cell phones because they destroy basic human characteristics like empathy and compassion. George Orwell predicted these trends when he wrote \u201c1984.\u201d Even though Big Brother is a few decades late in coming, I\u2019m convinced he\u2019ll make his debut on Jimmy Kimmel pretty soon. And when the New World Order takes over, the only survivor will be your Great-Granny, who never learned how to turn on the computer and doesn\u2019t own an iPhone. She\u2019ll be the first to warn you: Don\u2019t take the chip and keep the government away from her secret spaghetti sauce. Joe Pisani may be reached at email@example.com.