After some shingles blew off our roof during a windstorm, we called a contractor to repair the damage. Everything was going according to plan until he informed me that the spare bundle of shingles I had in the garage had \u201cexpired.\u201d I scratched my head in amusement and amazement and politely asked, \u201cWould you repeat that please?\u201dMy first thought was \u201cHow is that possible? Asphalt shingles have expiration dates?\u201d My second thought was \u201cIs this an FBI conspiracy?\u201dNow, before every roofer and contractor starts calling to criticize me for my ignorance of professional standards, let me say that I would not want anyone, myself included, to get arrested or fined or subject to a congressional investigation for using expired roofing materials.Without expiration dates, our nation\u2019s economic growth would come to a grinding halt. (I later learned my fountain pen ink had \u201cexpired,\u201d along with my lawn fertilizer and a box of bandaids. Expiration dates were invented to keep us safe from something or other, although I\u2019m not sure what.)I\u2019ve often read that honey never expires and can last for millennia, which I believed until my eccentric aunt made me a cup of Lipton tea and brought out a jar of honey from World War II that she had been saving for a special occasion. It was black. I cringed when she poured it in the tea.\u201cIs something wrong?\u201d she inquired. \u201cNothing,\u201d I replied and proceeded to pour the tea down the drain when she wasn\u2019t looking. I neglected to check the expiration date on the tea bag.I\u2019ve been thinking about expiration dates a lot lately, and I\u2019ve concluded there\u2019s only one thing that doesn\u2019t expire: the never-ending adventure and misadventure known as parenthood. Once a parent, always a parent.Nevertheless, for the sake of my sanity and that of many other nameless individuals, who suffer in silence, I think we need to institute expiration dates on parenthood. With a clear conscience, I can say that I\u2019ve fulfilled my obligation. Now, give me my certificate of appreciation so I can collect my pension.If Donald Trump won\u2019t issue an executive order to solve this national dilemma, I\u2019ll go to Nancy Pelosi, whose term should have expired a few years ago.During my tenure as a parent, I\u2019ve endured emergency room visits, broken bones, broken hearts, bad roommates, bad boyfriends and bad bosses. I\u2019ve paid for colleges, marriages, mortgage down-payments, dance lessons, tennis lessons, winter coats, Easter dresses, vaccinations, cars and car insurance. Someone always needed or wanted something ... and will ALWAYS need or want something.The day will come when you\u2019re eking out an existence on $21,000 in Social Security, and your 40-year-old prodigal son will call you, and with the enthusiasm of Joe Biden accepting the Democratic nomination, ask, \u201cHey, Pop, can you spare ten bucks for a six-pack of Sam Adams!\u201dYou\u2019ll give him the cash, but he won\u2019t offer you a brewski.The truth of the matter is you\u2019re a parent forever, regardless of how old you or your kids are. I\u2019m seen proof of my theory. One of our daughters calls at the crack of dawn when she\u2019s walking to work from Grand Central. She tells us about every creepster and crackpot she passes on the street. Another daughter calls at the same time to give us a progress report on our grandson\u2019s latest sniffle.How is it possible for parents to talk to two daughters simultaneously? Fortunately, a third daughter is sound asleep in California while the fourth is already at work.Parenthood never ends. Parents are always giving money or giving advice to their kids. The kids take the money, but they seldom take the advice. They didn\u2019t listen as kids, and as adults, they still don\u2019t listen. Instead, they\u2019ll tell you how to live.When they have problems with their toddlers or teenagers or cars or neighbors or marriages or work or any of the countless challengers they confront, they call us.Yes, parenthood lasts forever ... in this life and probably in the next.Joe Pisani can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.